MORE THAN THE CONTAINER (Part 2)

“A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. (Luke 6:45NKJV)

There is always a way to see beyond the beauty of a container to the corresponding content present within. When we engage scriptural wisdom, we receive the ability to know what our choice is capable of doing later on even before we commit ourselves into any intimate relationship. We need to know that most heartbreaks and losses suffered later on in marriages doesn’t just start when we noticed, but has always been there showing as warning signs before we enter into such relationships. This is one reason why every relationship that will stand the test of time must be entered into with great sensitivity and eyes wide opened.

“Test all things; hold fast what is good.” (1 Thess 5:21-22NKJV)

For instance, as you look at the side of the container of most products you are about to purchase from a store, there is most likely you find a content table that described the composition of the material present therein. By this means, you have an idea of what the content inside the container looks like. Likewise on the outside every man is a label that converses what is on the inside. This label is called communication.

“While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear” (1 Peter 3:2)

Communication is the way to know whatsoever is inside from the outside. Every mouth will always speak from the abundance of the heart (Luke 6:45). The word “Communication” is derived from the Latin word “communes” which means “common”. Hence it’s a way to help you know what you have in common. Every relationship that will stand the test of time must be ready to encourage adequate communication such that will help both individuals involved have a better understanding of each other’s composition. Communication can be verbal or non-verbal which makes it requires a great deal of caution and sensitivity in order not to be carried away by other frivolous matters in the name of romance. Don’t be surprise that such words like “I love you!”, “You mean a lot to me”, “I can’t do without you” and many others can always be pregnant with more reasons to it only if only you care to confirm.

It is necessary to always have it within yourself a concrete reason why you must be in a union. Through your communication, it is very essential to answer such question like “why is he/she interested in me?” Is it for temporal satisfaction or for material purpose? If your partner is into that relationship because he/she needed a mere company, note that the moment another better company is found, you are most likely to be abandoned. There are many in a relationship in order to satisfy what people are saying. Such relationships have lost its foundation to selfishness and make-believe practices. It is not hard to know who only wants to marry you for children sake in order to know where the “love” will move on to later on. The word “love” is heavy and it is good to know who has the heart to carry it. Through communication you can always know the “why” in a relationship when you carefully listen to what the heart behind the mouth is saying. Join me in the next episode as we share more about this and remember to always love with care!

(Excel Agboola is a missionary and the President of Newwine Mission Int’l Ghana. He is also the Lead facilitator of “InVoice Unleashed!” – An outfit dedicated to helping people discovers the best of God in their lives. Please feel free to share your comment or call for counseling. Contact: excelagboola@yahoo.com, newwinemissions@yahoo.com, +233540897170, +2347060423639).

MORE THAN THE CONTAINER

“…For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (1 Sam 16:7NKJV)

I could remember one of those old adverts of Coca-Cola which normally ends with “liquid content only!”; an adage which does not only describe what we do really buy in a product, but also what keeps us buying it. Relating this to the process of marriage gave me the understanding that man also exhibit such contents and container characteristics. Every buyer is attracted to a product either because of the quality of the content or due to the beauty of the container, and this same way goes every man and woman as they choose their various partners in a relationship.

“While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.” (1 Peter 3:2-4KJV)

I believe the above exhortation was not written by Peter to condemn taking care of our bodies, making of hair styles or wearing of jewelries so as to appreciate the beauty in us. Nevertheless, it was an admonition to help position our hearts towards that which is more important and crucial in any relationship which also may include marriage. It is quite certain that the first characteristic that is observed of any product is the beauty of its packaging. This in most cases often lures consumers to purchasing product they never needed. Moreover, at the point of consumption, buyers may also come to discover that the outer attractiveness fails to match up with the inner substance.

Today, there are countless of marital unions that bear no resemblance with what they looked like in the beginning. Individuals in marriage now see themselves been deceived to buying something different from what was portrayed to them at the start of the relationship. In this series of articles, I will like to share some biblical truth about how to know the content in a container even before it is “opened”. How you can know what your choice is capable of doing later on before any intimate relationship comes in? In most cases we suffer great losses both physically and emotionally when we later discover that what we brought home is “fake” and far from our beliefs earlier on. What is the guarantee that our interest carry on the inside the same thing they represent outwardly before we find ourselves hooked up?

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.” (Prov 31:30NKJV)

First of all, please note that your discovery begins with how you set priorities. What is it that comes first in your quest for relationship? If I may ask, what are you looking for in a relationship? Is it the content or the container? Is it a playmate or a helpmeet? Without a doubt God is a God of beauty and looking good is a great virtue to Him. We can all see how the nature declares His handwork and how He made mankind a beauty and a wonder (Ps. 139:14). Nevertheless, both content and container characteristics of man have their own unique places. Containers are meant for attraction while the content brings commitment. Anytime a product is obtained, containers are meant to be returned for recycling; while the content only is meant for consumption. Hence, when we put our total trust in outward appearance, we soon become a subject of disposal. No wonder some beautiful containers still carries the picture of a litter bin with the sign “dispose properly”. Moreover, since character is an internal virtue, this makes it easily coverable with an outer appearance making any “container” lover a subject of deception. Nothing is as deceitful as thinking that the physical beauty of today will give you a true value forever without seeking for how to promote the inner virtue.

You may be surprised to know that larger percentage of men that embrace infidelity in marriage does not do so because they have unattractive wives. In most of the cases, the mistress outside is nothing in compare to the beauty of their spouses. But why will a man leave a beautiful woman at home for whatsoever outside? The truth remains there is something else that keeps a man at home than the beauty of a wife. And in most cases it is the value of the content. Even though beauty is a unique thing that women will never want to loose, showing in lot of resources being spent for maintenance on beauticians and cosmetics everyday, the truth still remains that these activities never stands the test of time.

Have you ever wondered why King Solomon keeps going for more women? It’s evidence that beauty never satisfies a man. If you likewise think it was Esther’s beauty that made her the choice of the king, then you may need to think again and imagine how easy it is to choose the most beautiful girl even if it has to be one candidate each from the one hundred and twenty seven provinces under the kingdom. Moreover, remember that the ex- Queen Vashti does not lost her position for lack of beauty (Esther 1:11); but because she refuse to display it. She lost it on the pedestal of character. What a proof that nothing easily brings a continuous commitment to a relationship like character

One lesson we need to learn here is that whenever we take a look at ourselves and behold how beautiful we are, that isn’t enough! Beauty doesn’t last forever. We might not be able to stop the effect that aging brings on us, nevertheless there is something else more tangible at our disposal that last longer than any outward appearance. That is the content, the character. That is what keeps your spouse by you forever. Even when he/she is tempted to going for other options outside, your content value is what keeps drawing him/her back. The best way to leave yourself forever in the mind of your partner is only through your character and not your beauty. Hence, while we keep renewing our appearance simply for attraction, let’s learn to give more concentration to our character and keep it intact as in the beginning. The truth remains that whatsoever the container looks like later on, the buyer’s commitment remains constant and unchangeable only if the content value is as the same as the beginning.

Permit me to share this illustration with you. Sometimes ago, in a bid for Permit me to share this illustration with you. Sometimes ago, in a bid for Coca-cola to maintain relevance in the face of strong competitors like Pepsi-cola and others, they introduced a product called “Diet Coke” and invested a lot on it, hoping it will enhance their sales and draw in more customers. Contrarily, that same year, Coke was widely rejected resulting in a big loss and almost giving the market over to its rivals. The reason being the “new Coke” has lost the original content value – the “sting” character which gave it its unique taste and its market advantage over other cola beverages. Ever since then, Coke has severally changed the shape and design of its container, but never the content value of the “Classic Coke” again. What a clear demonstration that if there is anything that should be jealously protected in a man’s life, it should be the character – the inner content!